Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Why is it so hard to believe in God?

I wrote this note a while ago to a friend of mine, and thought some others might benefit


Dear Friend,

Throughout the course of the last two semesters I thought a lot about my own life, where I was, where I wanted to be, and where I was going. Of course, it's probably no secret that this was all sparked by your announcement that you had been diagnosed with a terminal disease. Selfishly, I thought about my self in the aforementioned ways but largely neglected to think about you in those same regards. The cornerstone of my beliefs is that as a follower of Christ I should always put others before myself, and until now I was not fully following that principal, but God has given me a heavy heart to reach out to you and remind you of his love and that "life" is not the end.

I was an Atheist not too long ago; one who would passionately denounce the presence of God and find reason to convince myself that "this" was it. Arrogantly I thought that I had the capacity to perceive and understand "this" existence. I made sure there was no room for God, the unexplainable, or the incomprehensible in my life. It was quite a painful and hollow existence looking back on it now. I'm sure you've heard this all before so I'll just get to it: I thought I had it all figured out, or that I was at least on my way to figuring it all out, but I soon realized that I was only equipped with tools (math, science, logic, reason) to explain what I could perceive around me. I held on tight to these tools as it was comforting to to "know" that I could explain almost anything depending on how far I went down the rabbit hole. But these things only serve to reinforce our existing views, not explore or perceive new ones.

The one thing that we can perceive with these limited "tools" that is of any significance is love. We, as humans, haven't developed a framework to explain this phenomenon try as we may (music, poetry, language) and we won't be able to because it is something not of "this", but of "that". "That" of course is that which is incomprehensible, unfathomable, and inexplicable. Love is something that just barely dips into our perceptive range, but a realm in which God exists and from which Jesus came. I thought I knew love before I knew Christ, but what I thought was love was a ruse, a small and misleading feeling meant to trick me into being content with something twisted and much less than the real thing. There is Good and there is evil. Evil, in its most basic form, is holding onto "this", while Good is knowing that "this" is not it and "that" is where its at. I urge you to not be content with "this" and to seek a path towards knowing Christ. Having been lived a life for both "this" and "that" I can attest to quality of a life in "this" while living for "that".

God speed.

- Jason

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I was looking through the forums for Picasa for Mac and someone had posted a link to your blog.
I read this post and just want to say that it is very beautiful and real!!!
I have a relationship with Jesus and love how you've made your note so simple, yet very clear. We don't know each other, but just want you to know that someone thousands and thousands of miles away is very proud of you!